A father's role in encouraging mindfulness at home
We landed our very first author feature on our blog. And it’s a really special one as Paul Harsch has written Mommy Goes To Yoga. It’s a children’s yoga book inspired by his wife and how her me-time brings harmony and happiness to the family. Definitely a message all mums would appreciate.
The labour of love took about nine months to produce. Paul even set up a small publishing firm so he could explore other book ideas while working around his family’s schedule.
Author of Mommy Goes To Yoga, Paul Harsch, with his four year old daughter.
Hi Paul! We find your book refreshing in how it features mummy as the centre of the story.
Thank you. I thought it could be a nice twist on a children's yoga book to emphasise the parent going to yoga, while still having fun images and yoga poses on every page for the child to enjoy and copy. I’ve seen how much my kids enjoy yoga books — those smiles and giggles that come out of early efforts and a sense of pride when they keep trying and eventually progress. I wanted to my book to have that.
As a dad, why do you think it's important for fathers to be supportive of their children's or wives’ mindfulness efforts? What is the role that dads can play?
As a parent, we influence our children's attitudes and behavior with our own. If the father is supportive, the children definitely pick up on this. It’s even more so if the father is critical or even outwardly skeptical. This gives kids an easy path to act the same. It is important to me that we’re careful not to be judgmental, especially in front of children.
I’d say a dad’s role minimally is acknowledging the positive benefits that come from mindfulness or yoga practice. Ideally a dad could try them for himself. Yoga may not be for everyone, but I’d bet that there is at least one - if not many stretches - that would come in handy for a dad with some sore muscles or a stiff back at times. As for mindfulness, every father wants to be a good dad. I think it’s about just taking the time to see how mindfulness could be good for everyone.
Mommy Goes To Yoga wants to show that alone time for adults is important too.
What are your personal habits and advice for nurturing mindfulness in your household?
I feel that my behavior is probably the best way to set an example. I hope my ability to react to situations mindfully rather than out of emotions will lead my children to do the same. Activities are also important. Our favorite is regularly walking in the forest (or the neighbourhood), observing, sometimes making up scavenger hunts, sometimes just stopping to listen. We try to eat dinner together as a family every night, which I find is a good time to touch on things like talking about being grateful amid the abundance that we have, appreciating what we do for one another and others around us.
Lastly, how do you think yoga or mindfulness has been beneficial for your family?
All parents know how stress and emotions build up after a long day of children being children. Mindfulness really helped me look at the way I was doing things. I’ve realised in certain situations I was reacting out of emotion and it was not helpful. Mindfulness makes me happier, more content and aware as a person. It’s helped my parenting.
Yoga helps my family members in slightly different ways. For my wife and me, it is a nice peaceful escape from everything. We can share the moment and be in the same place emotionally and physically after going to a class together. I feel like the energy in the room is always better after yoga for either of us. The kids are on their own frequency usually. My daughter is 4. For her, I feel that yoga builds her confidence in being able to complete poses. For my son who is 9 and has a never ending supply of energy, it is more of a grounding experience that makes him slow down and focus more than he normally would, bringing a little balance of energy levels into his day.
Mommy Goes To Yoga is available for purchase here.
Check out our interview with the illustrator of Mommy Goes To Yoga too!