How can colours teach kids about emotions?

In both colour psychology and art therapy, colours have been shown to influence a person’s mental and even affect our physical state, such as increasing adrenaline and blood circulation.

For kids, linking colours and emotions come naturally. University research by developmental psychologists reveals that children connect different emotions to colours. For instance, young children assign positive feelings to bright colors and negative feelings to dark ones.

Singaporean lecturer, Angela Ng, did not expect to publish a kids activity book on this very topic when she attended a painting retreat and psychology summer course seven years ago. “I found playing with colours to be very cathartic during my retreat and I learnt a lot about emotions as part of my course. I decided to put both experiences together. It took me 4 years to find the right illustrator and another 2 years to finish it!”

Author of What Colours Are You Feeling launched her activity book to help kids make sense of their emotions.

Angela tells us why it’s important that kids talk about their emotions to build resilience.

How did you go from being a business woman and lecturer to an author of a kids book about emotions?

While attending my course, I learnt that many of us are unconscious of how emotions play a very powerful role in our thoughts, that leads to our actions and our well-being. I realised that if only I had known what my emotions have been trying to tell me instead of ignoring them, I would have been happier and probably not suffered a career and life burnout. I wished I had learnt these when I was younger. This is why I wanted to write this book — to build kids’ emotional vocabulary and understanding because emotions affect our well-being even from a young age.

How can parents better support and connect with their children and help them manage their emotions?

Many adults have come forth to me to tell me how much their kids (or their nieces, nephews and kids of friends) needed a book like What Colours Are You Feeling. They are concerned and worried whenever kids seemed to struggle emotionally. However, this book is not a miracle book. It is not one that’s simply passive reading. I encourage parents to use it with the kids and grow together with them.

To help kids have better emotional management skills, parents can:

Have conversations about emotions.
Develop emotional vocabularies together with their children (what words are used to express what emotions) and model those expressions.
Always be aware of their feelings and have constant conversations to prepare for difficult times. Don’t talk about emotions only when bad feelings come up.
Allow space for the kids to express their emotions and respect that.

Sharing your emotions is caring. And Angela hopes parents can enjoy the book together with their kids for more bonding time.

How has the feedback been so far?

A single parent told me how he used the activities in the book to help his 6-year-old son manage a tantrum. A few parents did the 14 days of gratitude page with their kids and felt skeptical at the start. But they were surprised by the perspective of the kids and they all mentioned how such an activity bonded them. Some adults attempted the emotional vocabulary activities and realised that they have so few words to describe their complex emotions. Couples who used it together realised that their partners has different emotion descriptors (same words but mean differently for different people).

What are your personal tips or habits for nurturing more mindfulness at home and for yourself?

First, I practice slowing down and tuning in. I tend to move quickly in that I’m all about efficiency. I want to do many things at the same time. However, all these came at an expense of disconnecting with myself. I realised that I achieve more when I slow down. I also keep a journal. Writing a journal helps me reflect on my day. At home, we also do a gratitude check at the end of the day before we go to sleep. Gratitude is a highly powerful and effective exercise, but you can only savour its results if you persistently do it over a long period of time.

Before we let you go, can you share with some tips on how to use your book?

Sure, here are my suggestions:

There is no fix order for how to use the book. Each activity is created to work independently. You can start anywhere in the book - either by activity or colour. It’s totally up to you!
Parents could sit down to read with the child or pick an activity to do for 15 minutes (I recommend: 14 days Gratitude exercise or One Kind-Act A Day). Let you child share either a kind act they experienced or did, or something that they feel grateful about. Help them write it down. This is simple enough to capture their attention and short enough to keep them focused.
Parents can further engage the child by choosing an emotional word that the child has written in one of the pages and engage them in further discussion such as, “What is the difference when you feel annoyed compared to feeling upset?
Lastly, have fun with emotional words! Share with your child how you use certain words under what kind of circumstances to build better communication with each other.